>>HOT BODY OF THE WEEK IS BROUGHT FRESH TO YR TABLE BY HAIRLESS MAN SERVANTS
Xian:
Riddler
of Steel
Xian it seems has
a name and home town that would scare most alter boys into atheism,,, a
statement that will become clearer sooner or later.
1) I went to school with a guy with the name Richard Stains*, I dont believe some people thoroughly think out their offsprings names before committing them to paper. Is this also the case in yr situation Xian Bishop? or are they religious fanatics ?
When I questioned the faceless cloaked figures that invoked me into this godforsaken world they assured me my naming was purely coincidental
2) Growing up in Bacchus Marsh,, you poor bastard, what a crazy sounding place. Ive only been there once on my way through to the Rat, but the myth of Bacchus Marsh has long tentacles. While there, I pulled an incredible shiny woven trinket from a rubbish bin and gave it too my girl as a reminder we had been to your home town. Are the rubbish bins of Bacchus Marsh something special or are the locals who feed them modern consumers who have no need for woven trinkets anymore ?
The trinkets are there to
tempt the greedy into taking. Then the wearer is cursed with death!
But it is quiet a beautiful place. Hence the name it was built on marshlands
inside a long extinct volcano. Once the capital of Victoria for Cancer. With
an Avenue of Honor of 500+ haunting Elm trees along a roadside representing
the soldiers from Bacchus Marsh who died in WW1. (must have been like the
whole male population,
it’s a pretty inbred place) The Elm trees also claiming a grisly road toll
for speeding,drowsy or just drunkenly crap drivers.
Bacchus Marsh is also the home of most of Victoria’s alfalfa & wild rocket
farmers. It was once a stopover point after a good days travel on Horseback
from Melbourne to the Ballarat gold fields. Where desperate men & women
would drink, fight & if they were really unlucky would catch a disease.
3) Whats the most fulfilling thing youve ever pulled out of a Bacchus Marsh rubbish bin ?
I wouldn’t call it fulfilling but I found cat carcasses once in the bins of a restaurant.
4) Without question, Bacchus is the Roman god of wine and intoxication. The Bacchanalia, orgies in honour of Dionysus, were introduced in Rome around 200 BC. These infamous celebrations, notorious for their sexual and criminal character, got so out of hand that they were forbidden by the Roman Senate in 186 BC. Modern day Bacchus Marsh, does this sound familiar ?
Just add youth suicide, Australian rules football, domestic violence, angry men who steal rotten eggs from the egg farm then throw them at you from their V8 car’s after bashing you. With women who all happen to be pregnant hairdressers, & a guy who steals other peoples pit bulls & fights them till death with his own. Then it starts to sound a little familiar.
5) In New Zealand your tackle is a full crotch of rod and sinkers. I have yr album Career Ending Tackle . . . can you clarify for me exactly what this title means?
Check me out in the centerfold of this month’s issue of MAN MEAT. Then you will know what Career ending tackle means.
6) Black Lotus is yr posse, Bacchus Marsh is yr coloured doorag, career ending tackle is yr uzi, whos yr rival gang ?
Public Transport officers & usually myself.
7) With Career Ending Tackle, Zool and the Riddle of Steel under yr metaphorical belt do you think its time to explode internationally in a huge gust of self-promotion as a prominent breakcore/digital hardcore/drill and bass producer or are you willing to wait and see how things go ? maybe check the reviews and make an informed decision afterwards.
Music scenes & the industry sucks, especially in Melbourne where it is so cool. Breakcore has inevitably become predictable & boring. It was about doing something new & different. There’s only a handful of artists truly doing this. I’d like to spend more time cooking, painting learning & hanging with my friends than exploding internationally or anywhere.
8) Is hindsight a gift or a curse ?
It’s a curse for you when you think about the lame questions you have asked.
(ED- damn good answer !!! soooOOOOo true)
9) If you were locked in a festy and stinking underground dungeon with Usher and no hope of ever being released. Would you,
A) Kill Usher instantly before he could open his mouth.
B) Kill yrself instantly before he could open his mouth.
C) Sit down and talk to Usher and find out what his lyrics are actually about.
D) Form a barber shop duet with Usher and hope to hypnotise the guards with synchronised vocal interplay and haunting melodies causing them to either give the keys to you or at least to get you a fancier cell
E) None of the above, I would . . . <insert witty answer>
I think having a creative witty imagination is a great gift. But it is very easily substituted for stupidity
10) Have you ever slept with anyone famous in a parked car overlooking a smoggy city in July last year?
Not quiet, it was overlooking a ditch & it was March. But all after those shit eating home movies your mum did I guess you could call her slightly famous
(ED - leave my mom out of this) 
11) Is there any truth to the allegations you are really 43 years old and have 3 children ?
Maybe in 11 years
12) Are these questions to personal?
I will tell you
13) Your other project, Morloch, featuring primarily Yrself and Emile (sometimes supported by 2 lovely ladies on cello and drums) is pretty unique admittedly. You create music and display visuals simultaneously and still manage to scream into pitch shifted microphones, look good, get paid for it and have just performed every night of the week for the exclusive Loreal Fashion Weeks after party at the luxurious and swanky Croft institute to an extremely attractive and well dressed crowd of metrosexual, retrosexuals and fly looking women. My question is are you gay ?
Can you be more specific?
Gay like penetrating a mans hole, gay like having a man go down on you but
not returning the pleasure or gay like accidentally touching another mans
penis whilst rubbing his thighs down with deep heat in the club rooms at
half time?
14) is it okay to be pretend to be gay so as not to create unwanted sexual tension between yrself and yr female audience ?
Not really. I think you
should be proud of your sexuality whatever it is. You are a handsome man
that should harness his inner beauty. Be proud of how you feel to other men,
women & children. Not hide behind some imaginary façade. Your friends will
support you.
But if you can get a root or even a handjob from it go for your life.
15) How does it feel to be hotbody of the week around the world right now ?
Everything feels good when I have my blue turtle Jim-Jams on.
16) Would you, if you could, be part of 4 way celebrity scandal including Dolph Lungren, Jennifer Aniston and the remains of Princess Di ?
Too personal
17) do you respect authority ?
If its sexy
18) Police love to command and hate to listen. Have you ever encountered a situation that might resemble this statement ?
Many. One time that didn’t end in violence or a criminal record was recently
when Black Lotus put on a mini rave – tapas party in my lounge room. With
homemade Hommus & Maladroit. The cops eventually turned up. It was late &
most crew had gone home.
They asked me to “turn it down”. I said “I’m turning it off because I want
to go to bed” to that they angrily replied “LISTEN HERE MATE! JUST TURN IT
DOWN & DON’T ARGUE” again I told them that I’ll just turn it off. They
weren’t happy with me not doing what they had asked me to do.
B L A C K L O T U S
S Y S T E M : C O R R U P T
METAL UP YR TIGHT, SPASTIC, CLEAN,
HI-FI ASS
I HAVEN'T HEARD THIS, SOMEONE LEND ME A COPY PLEEEEEEEEASE -OINK
pig nasty
BLACK LOTUS 01
SPLIT RECORD WITH MISANTHROPE -A POIGNANT TRIBUTE TO CROM.
MCslypussy
XIAN MP3
There is a pure steel submarine half submerged in a bathtub. It is made out of pure steel. The sub weighs one pound, and is pure steel. When completely submerged, it displaces two pounds of water, because of its pure steel qualities.
What could you do to cause the pure steel submarine to sink to the bottom of the tub ?
A) Add exactly one pound of Xian vs Misanthrope vinyl to the submarine.
B) Add just a bit more than one pound of the said vinyl to the submarine.
C) The sub will sink anyway, because its made from pure steel.
D) Punch the crap out the water because water in essence is on 1 part Oxygen to two part hydrogen and pretty wussy when you put it like that.
E) Crush Anti-Kati’s paper thin skull in one swift blow of the submarine
(F.Y.I - INDEED THE CORRECT ANSWER IS B. AND NOT INFACT E.)
the "Real
Riddle of Steel" and hot body of the week was once again brought
fresh to your table
by hairless man servants and the indifferent stare
of an uninterested Asian college student.
*names have not been changed to protect individuals identity.